I can't wait!!!
Today I'm in this really blissful mood. Hee.. Met a friend today for lunch, went to my cousin's place to fix his kinertec water filter, rushed to office for my grandma and grandaunt's facial and helped out with KL's mum for her friend's facial. Though I'm still down with cold, it's really enjoyable today. I felt really free and easy and just happy. I guess I've been this tensed mood the last few months, worrying about my future. But today, while living in that future, I actually felt happy. There's really nothing much to be afraid or worried of. Haha.. I really don't know what my brain is filled up with the last few months. Guess I'm really those kinda person who starts worrying when I've nothing to be busy with. Once I'm busy, I'll start feeling alive and happy all of a sudden, which reminds me of what Annie said the other day.
"You really get happy very easily".
Haha.. And guess what? I've been having blues for almost as long as I remember. Hmmm.. But to think about it, I really get happy and entertained easily. Just meeting MJ the other day coz I haven't met him for like weeks, I felt really really happy and excited. I was blabbering all about meeting him and getting excited all by myself just a few days ago, and no one could be bothered. Ha.. Everyone must wonder how come I can get so excited by just meeting MJ. I just... love my friends I guess. Like.. I get really happy when Wanlin came over my place the other day, even though I didn't really say so. I just feel like announcing to the whole world, she came to my place! haha.. and that even though we haven't met for a long time, seeing her is just like everytime we see each other, no matter how long it is. I really missed seeing her and meeting her every week. But seeing her again, I suddenly feel so alive.
I'm a really weird kinda person. I appear very bubbly, outgoing, and honest to my feelings. But truthfully speaking, I don't know exactly my feelings. It's only recently that I've gotten in touch with them since POV. I haven't had a boyfriend for like... more than 2 years? And.. I really don't like writing a blog. Yah, and you'll start asking, then why did you start writing? And.. I'd answer, because I don't like it. I've been feeling the blues and having ups and downs for so long, then I'm tired of all these. I just want to feel myself, be myself, and be happy. If writing a blog makes me open myself up, then I'll do it. Coz it's easier to write facing a laptop, then talk face to face with people truthfully. And once, I get things started by penning my true self down, eventually my true self will show. This is what I believe in, at least up till now.
*shakes my head*
About boyfriends, people must wonder, how come I haven't had one for so so long. Today I met Henry, and he said, "how can you not have a boyfriend looking like that?" I was shocked that he said such a thing, and shouting it out loud in the office. *Background info: Henry's a multi-millionaire businessman who's normally based in Thailand* Get how shocked I am? Lolx.. Ok. I was wearing a little too little today coz I had to rush about. It was really hot today. Maybe next time I'll take a picture of that halter-neck I was wearing today. Haha.. Anyway, Justin also said the same thing the other day. "Someone like you don't have a boyfriend, there must be a problem somewhere" And guess what? Bingo! I do have a problem. Blahx. I have a problem with opening my heart and accepting new people into my life, into my heart. I'm afraid. I'm afraid people might hurt me, reject me for who I am or leave me. That's why, not only do I not have a boyfriend, but I also don't have really good new friends, other than Zoe. But Zoe's different. She's the kind who'll just step into your heart whether you like it or not. That's why she's so sweet.
But things seem to change now. Recently, I think my heart seems to be opening up. I met some very nice new friends who're in my project groups. Though we're not like best of friends or anything, more like new friends or maybe even acquaintance at this point of time, I felt like I can accept them now. Perhaps that's one of the reasons I'm feeling really happy now. I feel reborned, if there's such a word. I'm so happy, I feel like dancing and just gazing in the sky and dream with this silly smile on my face. See how easily I get happy? But, for a person who has not accepted people into her life for a long long time, do you know what it all meant? It means, I'm alive, and it meant a whole lot to me. It meant hope. I can see hope in my life, like a light in this future that I can almost grab it. I just have to keep moving forward, no matter how fast, no matter how slow. I can grab it, I can own it. And, I think, I might just be able to accept someone new in a relationship soon. I can just feel my relationship window opening. This relationship window is sorta a thing either invented by myself or something I've read a long time ago. A person can only have a relationship if his/her relationship window is open. KL says that for women, it is very fast. When the window is open, she'll get attached really fast. You can feel this window if you're sensitive enough. Just think of the times before you get attached to someone. That chemistry you feel, the joy and openness to the person you feel. That is it. That feeling that you can accept another, that you want to know this person more. That is the window. Maybe I couldn't pen it as easily as I can feel it, but just feel it yourself. Once you feel it, you'll understand.
With all these going on, my relationship with KL and MJ seems to get better too. I chatted with KL about everything including relationships till 2am last night. And chatted for some time with MJ today too. I can feel that in the near future, all of us from GSS will have really blissful lives. I can already see KL having his perfect 长今, MJ with his Miss Braces, and Annie with her Mr Wu Zun alike. Isn't the scene just blissful? All of us haven't been attached for as long as I rmb. Ha.. And all are really good looking people with great personalities. How can it be? Lolx.. all of us really do have problems of our own. Anyway, we're lucky that our problems are now slowly resolving because of POV. Thank God for it. ^_^ Only setback is that, if I've a boyfriend, think he'd have to go through really really many barricades. MJ says that he has to pass through him first, and he has to offer tea to KL because he's our 老大. Ahem. KL said the same thing. He has to pass through him before I can even have him as a bf. Now, who still wants to be my bf?? Hope I don't have to be an old maiden till the day that I die. Haha.. Really love KL and MJ for being so caring. I know they just want me to get the best guy.
3 Cards
Just an hour ago, I asked the 3 cards from POV website about how to get a successful new relationship. And take a look at the cards I got.
Just an hour ago, I asked the 3 cards from POV website about how to get a successful new relationship. And take a look at the cards I got.
Wow. It's really... accurate. You must wonder why. I've actually been having nightmares frequently every night since a few months ago. It's so bad that I can't sleep well so I kept falling sick easily. I asked Justin about the nightmares the other day, as he was the Iris Analyst then, and other then telling me I've a problem because I don't have a boyfriend for so long, he said to ask me to write a letter or something to let go of my issue. By letting go of it, I'll receive my freedom, and thus my happiness. Death temptation, is probably the reason why I'm feeling so dead for so long. By doing joining, in the form of writing a letter or meeting the person, or literally joining, I'd be able to receive my gift, which is freedom. And, that'd be my answer to a successful new relationship. I'm considering of giving that person a call tmr, or just write a letter to him and not send it out. It'd perhaps solve the issue once and for all. And, I'll finally get my freedom, and a blissful new relationship. Phew. I get goosebumps just thinking about it. And, well, for pp who really know me, look at the title of my blog. Hahaha... What a strange strange coincidence. This time, I'll completely resolve that issue. New life, here I come!
Do try out 3 cards if you've any issue you want to resolve. The link is on my side bar. But do trust the process fully, or it'll just be another card to you.
New Goals
I asked Annie to join a singing competition with me today. Think by just signing up first, know the dates of a competition, I'll get about to recuperate my voice and train it again as before. It's been really long since I've taken part in a singing competition or really took singing seriously. The last time was like a few years ago. Going on stage will do good so that I can lift up my head to face people again. And, I'm an Emcee anyway. I'll like to perform on stage too, even if it's just for a few minutes. It's not about the fame, but about the high I get when I'm on stage. I'll most prob be the Emcee of this coming SCS in May too. It'll be real fun, coz now I've gotten the hang of being an Emcee. I don't really want to be famous, I just want to have fun on stage and write books that'll help many people in the future. That's what I want. Oh, and I'm gonna start on volunteery work from May too. Life is just... sweet. There's so much more I want to write, but it's late. Gotta sleep. Till next time! 
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