Phew! It's so busy at work this week. The effect of the article on The New Paper on Genecia was really good. We are rushing everyday to get all the appointments and do the consultations before chinese new year to prepare for the Vday dates. We can have back to back appointments everyday and days just passes without knowing. Which is a good thing, coz more commission and weekend is coming again! It's already thursday in just a blink of eye! Keke... Next week is also Chinese New Year. I'm so looking forward to it!
Melvin's mum was really generous and nice. I find his family really interesting. Normally his mum will be thrifty on their daily lives, but they never are thrifty in giving gifts. In fact, they seem really generous about it. They gave us 2 cans of an expensive brand abalone, fish maw, etc, which in total costs 100+ bucks. Just for a chinese new year gift. A rather big difference from my family coz they don't give gifts often. Keke... In the end, my mum racked her brains and also gave a present of 6 items back (initially she only asked me to give them a box of home made love letters). Ha! I'll be bringing the items over in the weekend. It's so funny to see her think so hard just to give gifts coz I dun think she has much experience in that before. I think.. I hope at least, that maybe because his mum likes me so she gave me so many things. Hee~ Which is highly probable coz I'm so nice and sweet! Right??? ^_^
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
What I really want
Recently I've been so stressed up and frustrated. Met quite a few obstacles, either at work or watsoever. The only thing I'm not stressed about is relationship. Ha... It's been quite a tough time this half year, with a switch from student to working professional, from single to attached, from naivety to facing the real world. It really hasn't been easy.
When I was young, I always thought, I want to grow up faster, graduate and achieve many many great things in life. But when I grow older, and eventually step out into the working world, I realize it's not that easy to achieve that many accomplishments with the limited time. I want many things in life. I want a great family relationship, I want a great career, I want free time to do whatever I want anytime, I want to use my abilities to help the world become a better place, I want to develop my abilities of writing, singing etc. And I realize... I've no time!
I became so stressed up and pent up that finally I broke down. Luckily Melvin was with me that night and spent hours at the garden with me till 4am. I'm really really so glad for him being here with me. Because of him, I realize I overstressed myself with my ambitions and timelines, and made myself so depressed. Because of him, I realize more about myself. I had been naive, and only wanted to do things I know how to do, daren't face issues or confrontations, been extreme with the things I do, over blaming myself for everything, over demanding of myself, irresponsible... But with him, I really learnt to face up to issues. I became less extreme, and more understanding. I became less self blaming, and more self loving. I became more daring in voicing out the things that I want. And that night, I realize... what I really want in life.
I hadn't been really successful in life before, because I daren't be. All my life, I'm being told how ugly and lousy a person I am. All my life, I could have did many achievements within my grasp, but I didn't. Because I believe I wasn't worth it. But even if so, I did fairly well in life. I was able to go through 1 year of school without pocket money, and survive on one tuition kid and WBG income. I can earn money if I need it, and can do sales fairly well. It was an accomplishment to me. But I wasn't happy. I know I can earn loads if I want to, but something was stopping me then. I could do well in office, and then go back home to cry. I felt... empty. I'm not saying all these to prove that WBG is not good or not right or watsoeva. I REALLY LOVED WBG. It was a great place that developed my potentials and made me who I am. And till this day, though it changed a lot, I believe in its products and its potential. But, I realize that life is not as simple as just having a career.
What I really want is to have time for my loved ones. For Melvin, myself, my friends, my family and our future kids if we have them. Even if I earn lots of money, I wouldn't be happy without time with Melvin or my family. I know, people will think, 'You see! Wei Lin become soft and changed after having a boyfriend!' And prob even despise my thinking. But... the funny thing is, I don't care. I know I'd feel happier to have time with Melvin. Everyone is always too busy to think of relationships, and think that it is the least important. But to say the truth, relationships are most impt aren't they? We work hard for a future, for whom? It can't be for us only because our lifetime is so short that one will definitely feel empty after working for sometime. In the end it's either for our future generations, or our loved ones, or our family. Loving a person and wanting to spend more time with a person doesn't mean we give up our career, it just means taking a different view to it, and prob a different path to it. Seriously, I don't know what I'm trying to defend. I prob just wanna say, I love Melvin and want to be with him for the rest of my life, and who cares if anyone thinks I'm soft because of that. At least I'm soft and happy. ^_^
When I was young, I always thought, I want to grow up faster, graduate and achieve many many great things in life. But when I grow older, and eventually step out into the working world, I realize it's not that easy to achieve that many accomplishments with the limited time. I want many things in life. I want a great family relationship, I want a great career, I want free time to do whatever I want anytime, I want to use my abilities to help the world become a better place, I want to develop my abilities of writing, singing etc. And I realize... I've no time!
I became so stressed up and pent up that finally I broke down. Luckily Melvin was with me that night and spent hours at the garden with me till 4am. I'm really really so glad for him being here with me. Because of him, I realize I overstressed myself with my ambitions and timelines, and made myself so depressed. Because of him, I realize more about myself. I had been naive, and only wanted to do things I know how to do, daren't face issues or confrontations, been extreme with the things I do, over blaming myself for everything, over demanding of myself, irresponsible... But with him, I really learnt to face up to issues. I became less extreme, and more understanding. I became less self blaming, and more self loving. I became more daring in voicing out the things that I want. And that night, I realize... what I really want in life.
I hadn't been really successful in life before, because I daren't be. All my life, I'm being told how ugly and lousy a person I am. All my life, I could have did many achievements within my grasp, but I didn't. Because I believe I wasn't worth it. But even if so, I did fairly well in life. I was able to go through 1 year of school without pocket money, and survive on one tuition kid and WBG income. I can earn money if I need it, and can do sales fairly well. It was an accomplishment to me. But I wasn't happy. I know I can earn loads if I want to, but something was stopping me then. I could do well in office, and then go back home to cry. I felt... empty. I'm not saying all these to prove that WBG is not good or not right or watsoeva. I REALLY LOVED WBG. It was a great place that developed my potentials and made me who I am. And till this day, though it changed a lot, I believe in its products and its potential. But, I realize that life is not as simple as just having a career.
What I really want is to have time for my loved ones. For Melvin, myself, my friends, my family and our future kids if we have them. Even if I earn lots of money, I wouldn't be happy without time with Melvin or my family. I know, people will think, 'You see! Wei Lin become soft and changed after having a boyfriend!' And prob even despise my thinking. But... the funny thing is, I don't care. I know I'd feel happier to have time with Melvin. Everyone is always too busy to think of relationships, and think that it is the least important. But to say the truth, relationships are most impt aren't they? We work hard for a future, for whom? It can't be for us only because our lifetime is so short that one will definitely feel empty after working for sometime. In the end it's either for our future generations, or our loved ones, or our family. Loving a person and wanting to spend more time with a person doesn't mean we give up our career, it just means taking a different view to it, and prob a different path to it. Seriously, I don't know what I'm trying to defend. I prob just wanna say, I love Melvin and want to be with him for the rest of my life, and who cares if anyone thinks I'm soft because of that. At least I'm soft and happy. ^_^
Thursday, January 3, 2008
tick tock tick tock
Once a little girl said:" My goal is to get married by age 25!". And her friends look at her bewildered, and say "Ok. But you don't have a boyfriend." But the little girl replied:"I know. But I'll definitely get married by 25."
She believes it very much, and believes it so much that it became an obsession of hers. Finally she got herself a boyfriend, and she's still obsessed with the big M word. Seriously. I don't know what's wrong with the girl. But she just can't help thinking about it and probably scaring her boyfriend away.
She believes it very much, and believes it so much that it became an obsession of hers. Finally she got herself a boyfriend, and she's still obsessed with the big M word. Seriously. I don't know what's wrong with the girl. But she just can't help thinking about it and probably scaring her boyfriend away.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
It's Year 2008
Today's 1st Jan 2008. Feels weird even as I write down this date. 2008 had seemed so long into the future, and before I know it, it's today onwards. I'm currently in the midst of tidying and sorta revamping my room, clearing out all the things of the past to move on to the future. As I take down the picture of my 'once so wanted' Mazda RX 8, I suddenly realize I didn't really want that. The house I want, the car I want, they're impt, yet not as impt as I thought they were. And actually I didn't really like Mazda RX 8. Haha... Maybe when one is feeling empty, one will use material needs as goals to satisfy oneself. I once said to a friend, "I love money, because money will never disappoint a person. I work hard, I earn more. I work less, I earn less. Not like people." Keke... Something in that line la. Now, I can't believe I was so... loveless. I must have been overly disappointed by too many people in my life to turn me into such a person. But yeah. I guess... I had been a very sociable person in the past few years. WBG helped me step out of my comfort zone, and helped me become who I wanted to be step by step.
I was definitely not the happiest person, nor do I feel lucky at all in the past. It had been difficult being me. My family seems to think that girls have to do household chores, and the eldest is to be blame for everything that goes wrong. And guess what? I suck and dislike doing household chores, and I'm the eldest. It was terribly difficult to communicate with my family, and during my adoloscent years, I kinda hated them. I love reading books and watching tv. I always fantasize of having a prince charming to save me out of my pathetic life. I finally met one when I was 17. And I thought, he was The One. I failed badly in that relationship, and stumbled into depression. I was suicidal at that point of time. I thought, I had nothing. Nothing worth living for. Even the dream of my prince charming was shattered. There's no one coming to save me anymore. During then, I got into WBG.
Life wasn't perfect when I was there then too. WBG helped in providing me a venue of friends, self help seminars, book recommendations, business to take my mind off human relationships and learning to manage human relationships. It took me years to get out of my depression, and I still hadn't before I met Melvin. But I LOVE being the spark of people's life. I love to be thought of as a cheerful person, so I took on that persona. It helped. At least people around me become happier. I went to many seminars, read many books, achieve (and failed) many things, and finally I learnt to love myself.
Many people tell me, it's difficult to love myself because I have so many this and that bad attributes. And yes. Truthfully speaking, it is difficult. But instead of giving yourself so many so many reasons of why you shouldn't love yourself, why not find ways to start loving yourself? I was once ugly, and had skin problems since I was 11. My family tells me how ugly I am almost everyday. Once I finally garnered my courage to learn chinese dance, one of the students there said how can I have skin problems at such a age when she didn't even have when she's older than me (I stopped going after that). I was upset that I was ugly and everyone says I am. So, I decided to become pretty. I learnt to put on contact lenses. I learnt to use make up. At age 21, I went for a makeover that costs almost $400 (I paid half of it coz I told my dad that it's $200). I hang my beautiful pictures in my room. I find ways to make myself pretty and love myself. And damn! It's hard. But... shouldn't we do that? We go all out to tell others how to live their lives, but what about us? Do we ever put the effort on ourselves too? Too many people are pressurized and traumatized in life because of how they try to live up to OTHER people's standards. If we can only spend the time we criticize others or ourselves on thinking about what we want and finding ways to make us happier, we will then be happier.
Today, on 1st Jan 08, I'm glad. Because I know, I'm not a perfect person. I know I failed in many things and gave up on many things before today. But it doesn't matter. Because each step I take, each err I made, it made me who I am and what I'll become. And you know what? I really adore myself. Do you?
These are the things I did in 2007
Things I conquered:
1) Finished my Final Year Project (it was hell!)
2) Completed my SMU education (filled with so many challenges. I'm so glad it's over)
3) Lost my dog in a car accident (totally devastating... I cried even months after that)
4) Let go of my previous relationship and crushes (one MUST let go to receive. It's difficult, but it makes you much happier after that)
5) Faced my dad's bad attitude (and still facing. Keke.. Prob he's having menopause la)
6) Went to job interviews (oooo.... It's so scary. Dunno why I'm just so afraid of interviews. I can do anything but that!)
7) Meet someone I fear so much that I get diarrhea for the whole day (and end up falling in love with him)
8) Saw WBG changed so much (was rather upsetting at first, but now I think it's for the better good.)
9) Bringing my boyfriend home to meet the parents, and meeting his parents
10) Go on my first overseas trip with my boyfriend to Port Dickson without bringing a book (so scary... I was so scared we had nothing in common to talk about! How to spend 48 hours with a guy you just got together with? What if he was angry with me and just leave me behind??? And we didn't even know how to get there in the first place!)
Things I achieved:
1) WBG's B Team Emcee (too bad no more scs le)
2) Engaged as an Emcee outside of WBG
3) Got a new current BOYFRIEND who loves me to smitthering bits! (and I simply love~~~~~ him so so much!!)
4) Applied for my first house! (haven't gotten it yet. But doesn't matter. We'll get it soon)
5) Got my first Permanent Job and earned my first salary! (And it's a job I enjoy~)
6) Went on Superstar Virgo with Melvin (my dream vacation~~)
7) Slept on a four poster bed
8) Spent my first christmas with Melvin (and we went on a date!)
9) Went to POV - a course which costs $1000+! It's record high most expensive course I ever attended.
10) Really love myself (all the good and bad. Yah. So melvin, You love me coz I'm clumsy too! Hee~)
New Year Resolutions:
1) Earn more than $3000 per month
2) Get a 4-room flat with Melvin, and paying half of it
3) Give myself a monthly allowance of $350 and save the rest
4) Punctual
5) Get my driving license
6) Go to POV with Melvin
7) Tell Melvin I love him everyday and make sure he tells me too. (keke.. Jus kidding. I can't help writing it down~!)
This is a brand new year, and I'm sure it's a great new beginning for everyone. I'm really thankful to all who helped made me who I am today. And Melvin, I love you. ^_^
Tip of the day: If you want a great relationship, STOP lying to yourself. Face yourself, love yourself. And you will then receive. No one really thinks career is more impt than love. It is coz we are not sure if we are able to receive love that's why we feel this way. And ok la...I admit.. Love is more impt than money. But... I still love money! =P
I was definitely not the happiest person, nor do I feel lucky at all in the past. It had been difficult being me. My family seems to think that girls have to do household chores, and the eldest is to be blame for everything that goes wrong. And guess what? I suck and dislike doing household chores, and I'm the eldest. It was terribly difficult to communicate with my family, and during my adoloscent years, I kinda hated them. I love reading books and watching tv. I always fantasize of having a prince charming to save me out of my pathetic life. I finally met one when I was 17. And I thought, he was The One. I failed badly in that relationship, and stumbled into depression. I was suicidal at that point of time. I thought, I had nothing. Nothing worth living for. Even the dream of my prince charming was shattered. There's no one coming to save me anymore. During then, I got into WBG.
Life wasn't perfect when I was there then too. WBG helped in providing me a venue of friends, self help seminars, book recommendations, business to take my mind off human relationships and learning to manage human relationships. It took me years to get out of my depression, and I still hadn't before I met Melvin. But I LOVE being the spark of people's life. I love to be thought of as a cheerful person, so I took on that persona. It helped. At least people around me become happier. I went to many seminars, read many books, achieve (and failed) many things, and finally I learnt to love myself.
Many people tell me, it's difficult to love myself because I have so many this and that bad attributes. And yes. Truthfully speaking, it is difficult. But instead of giving yourself so many so many reasons of why you shouldn't love yourself, why not find ways to start loving yourself? I was once ugly, and had skin problems since I was 11. My family tells me how ugly I am almost everyday. Once I finally garnered my courage to learn chinese dance, one of the students there said how can I have skin problems at such a age when she didn't even have when she's older than me (I stopped going after that). I was upset that I was ugly and everyone says I am. So, I decided to become pretty. I learnt to put on contact lenses. I learnt to use make up. At age 21, I went for a makeover that costs almost $400 (I paid half of it coz I told my dad that it's $200). I hang my beautiful pictures in my room. I find ways to make myself pretty and love myself. And damn! It's hard. But... shouldn't we do that? We go all out to tell others how to live their lives, but what about us? Do we ever put the effort on ourselves too? Too many people are pressurized and traumatized in life because of how they try to live up to OTHER people's standards. If we can only spend the time we criticize others or ourselves on thinking about what we want and finding ways to make us happier, we will then be happier.
Today, on 1st Jan 08, I'm glad. Because I know, I'm not a perfect person. I know I failed in many things and gave up on many things before today. But it doesn't matter. Because each step I take, each err I made, it made me who I am and what I'll become. And you know what? I really adore myself. Do you?
These are the things I did in 2007
Things I conquered:
1) Finished my Final Year Project (it was hell!)
2) Completed my SMU education (filled with so many challenges. I'm so glad it's over)
3) Lost my dog in a car accident (totally devastating... I cried even months after that)
4) Let go of my previous relationship and crushes (one MUST let go to receive. It's difficult, but it makes you much happier after that)
5) Faced my dad's bad attitude (and still facing. Keke.. Prob he's having menopause la)
6) Went to job interviews (oooo.... It's so scary. Dunno why I'm just so afraid of interviews. I can do anything but that!)
7) Meet someone I fear so much that I get diarrhea for the whole day (and end up falling in love with him)
8) Saw WBG changed so much (was rather upsetting at first, but now I think it's for the better good.)
9) Bringing my boyfriend home to meet the parents, and meeting his parents
10) Go on my first overseas trip with my boyfriend to Port Dickson without bringing a book (so scary... I was so scared we had nothing in common to talk about! How to spend 48 hours with a guy you just got together with? What if he was angry with me and just leave me behind??? And we didn't even know how to get there in the first place!)
Things I achieved:
1) WBG's B Team Emcee (too bad no more scs le)
2) Engaged as an Emcee outside of WBG
3) Got a new current BOYFRIEND who loves me to smitthering bits! (and I simply love~~~~~ him so so much!!)
4) Applied for my first house! (haven't gotten it yet. But doesn't matter. We'll get it soon)
5) Got my first Permanent Job and earned my first salary! (And it's a job I enjoy~)
6) Went on Superstar Virgo with Melvin (my dream vacation~~)
7) Slept on a four poster bed
8) Spent my first christmas with Melvin (and we went on a date!)
9) Went to POV - a course which costs $1000+! It's record high most expensive course I ever attended.
10) Really love myself (all the good and bad. Yah. So melvin, You love me coz I'm clumsy too! Hee~)
New Year Resolutions:
1) Earn more than $3000 per month
2) Get a 4-room flat with Melvin, and paying half of it
3) Give myself a monthly allowance of $350 and save the rest
4) Punctual
5) Get my driving license
6) Go to POV with Melvin
7) Tell Melvin I love him everyday and make sure he tells me too. (keke.. Jus kidding. I can't help writing it down~!)
This is a brand new year, and I'm sure it's a great new beginning for everyone. I'm really thankful to all who helped made me who I am today. And Melvin, I love you. ^_^
Tip of the day: If you want a great relationship, STOP lying to yourself. Face yourself, love yourself. And you will then receive. No one really thinks career is more impt than love. It is coz we are not sure if we are able to receive love that's why we feel this way. And ok la...I admit.. Love is more impt than money. But... I still love money! =P
Sulks
The tv series I love most is It Started With A Kiss (ISWAK), and recently I found out the sequel series They Kiss Again is out. I restrained myself from taking action... restrained... and restrained... I pretend I don't really like it that much and didn't find out anything about it. And all of a sudden, I don't know why but today I suddenly tot, I like that series a lot! I should buy it! So... being very cheapo and kiasu, I went on youtube to check it out to see if it's nice. And... it suddenly became such an itch! Youtube was a lil weird, some parts of the episode there's no audio at all, and all of a sudden youtube just hanged and couldn't work. So it just made me even more tempted to watch it. In the end, I couldn't resist and changed my shorts to a 3 quarts, and went to Compasspoint with my nerdy specs and greasy and untidy hair to buy the vcd of They Kiss Again. And... guess what? They don't have it! It isn't released yet in Singapore and they don't know when! Argh!!!! I want to watch They Kiss Again!!!!
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