On Friday I’d a quarrel with KL that led to non-stop quarrels for a day. We’ve always had our differences, but never had we had serious quarreling in front of people. Because of some misunderstandings on Friday night, we kept quarreling yesterday. It was a silly misunderstanding. I was angry with myself, I don’t know what he was thinking, and we both just started being angry with each other. I really don’t know why we started being so critical with each other until now. Anyway, we quarreled so badly that we never once had a real exchange of words, other than snide remarks, even though we’re working so hard for the holistic fair. The holistic fair was a great success, but I felt really sad because of our quarrels. Only then, did I realize the importance of KL and also how important my friends are.
I don’t like quarreling with friends, and very rarely quarrel with friends. But I was just so angry and upset. After quarreling with KL on Friday night, I was so upset that I called James (whom I shall now call Mr 911), and cried to him for half an hour, but ended up laughing the remaining half hour. James is a really very nice and capable guy (hehe.. you owe me a meal for advertising that in the blog).
Though I still had quarrels with KL on Saturday, we made things up at night. And things went better between us today. After our holistic fair, KL asked MJ to come over for our celebration dinner, all the way from Hougang to Bras Basah Road, saying that we have a lot of things to carry. Maybe he wanted to make me happy by asking MJ along? I don’t know. But I was really happy to see MJ. MJ is going to HK soon. Only after seeing MJ that I know I really missed him, even though I just saw him last week. In the past, I saw him almost everyday. I think before seeing MJ today, I almost forgot about MJ because of my quarrels with KL.
I’m kinda in this Independent Zone and defense mode lately.
I just want to do what I want to, don’t bother me. Why should I do what you want me to? I’m already a grown up. Stop thinking that you need to help me plan everything, and stop thinking that I’m useless at everything. Trust me!
I guess that’s what led to the quarrels with KL. But after meeting MJ, my wall just broke apart. I don’t think he realized, but I was all gung-ho, leave me alone, I can do everything by myself. Even after we bade farewell to everyone after our dinner, and headed off to find our friend Maiko, I still had that wall. But right after, we crossed the roads to go off to the office, my wall just broke apart and I thought I can relax now. I’ve been so tensed up lately, with daily nightmares and a bad temper. Try reading my previous blog entries and you'll see the gung-ho me. I don’t know what he did. Maybe it was the care I felt when we crossed the roads, or the way he looks at me as if I am important, and his nervousness over me while I cross the roads. I suddenly feel that I can be myself, and don’t have to act as if I don’t need anyone. I really need to cling on to someone and I was so glad MJ was around. MJ is really important. I’ll miss him so very much when he goes to Hong Kong.
I really wonder why I always felt so alone when I have so many great friends around. Friends who love me regardless of what I do or the tantrums I throw or even if I thought they don’t care. Even though I quarreled with KL the last few days, I still need to switch on the light decoration he gave me during Christmas last year, and look at it for a while before turning off and falling asleep. Actually I have to look at it every night before going to bed. And even though we quarreled so badly the last few days, he was so nice to me today. Guys are supposed to have ego issues, but KL just treated me so understandingly nice even for my bad attitude. How can I not love him? How can I even be angry at him in the first place?
I also have very good female friends like Wanlin, Pan and Annie. The time when I felt so alone, Wanlin suddenly appeared and came to my home to ask for my advice. I felt really happy and relieved, as if I’m alive again. She didn’t know she was doing me a favour instead. But I don’t really quarrel with my gal friends. Maybe James is right. Friends whom you quarrel with and made things up, you’d become better friends with them. Perhaps that’s why MJ and KL are so dear to me. We really went through ups and downs, quarrels and nice times. I really don’t want MJ to go HongKong. If I can’t make that wish, then I wish that time will pass quickly when MJ goes to HongKong. But.. that’s not a good wish.
I wish that another person will come into my life as the form of MJ
It’s always what happens. Like… last time my Mr 911 was Richard, and now James appeared. And when I went to POV without KL, feeling so frightened, KL came in the form of Max. And Max is really so wonderful… I don’t mean people are replacements, but God do send angels to you in the form of different people. KL and MJ are my angels now, and they’ll always be...
I don’t like quarreling with friends, and very rarely quarrel with friends. But I was just so angry and upset. After quarreling with KL on Friday night, I was so upset that I called James (whom I shall now call Mr 911), and cried to him for half an hour, but ended up laughing the remaining half hour. James is a really very nice and capable guy (hehe.. you owe me a meal for advertising that in the blog).
Though I still had quarrels with KL on Saturday, we made things up at night. And things went better between us today. After our holistic fair, KL asked MJ to come over for our celebration dinner, all the way from Hougang to Bras Basah Road, saying that we have a lot of things to carry. Maybe he wanted to make me happy by asking MJ along? I don’t know. But I was really happy to see MJ. MJ is going to HK soon. Only after seeing MJ that I know I really missed him, even though I just saw him last week. In the past, I saw him almost everyday. I think before seeing MJ today, I almost forgot about MJ because of my quarrels with KL.
I’m kinda in this Independent Zone and defense mode lately.
I just want to do what I want to, don’t bother me. Why should I do what you want me to? I’m already a grown up. Stop thinking that you need to help me plan everything, and stop thinking that I’m useless at everything. Trust me!
I guess that’s what led to the quarrels with KL. But after meeting MJ, my wall just broke apart. I don’t think he realized, but I was all gung-ho, leave me alone, I can do everything by myself. Even after we bade farewell to everyone after our dinner, and headed off to find our friend Maiko, I still had that wall. But right after, we crossed the roads to go off to the office, my wall just broke apart and I thought I can relax now. I’ve been so tensed up lately, with daily nightmares and a bad temper. Try reading my previous blog entries and you'll see the gung-ho me. I don’t know what he did. Maybe it was the care I felt when we crossed the roads, or the way he looks at me as if I am important, and his nervousness over me while I cross the roads. I suddenly feel that I can be myself, and don’t have to act as if I don’t need anyone. I really need to cling on to someone and I was so glad MJ was around. MJ is really important. I’ll miss him so very much when he goes to Hong Kong.
I really wonder why I always felt so alone when I have so many great friends around. Friends who love me regardless of what I do or the tantrums I throw or even if I thought they don’t care. Even though I quarreled with KL the last few days, I still need to switch on the light decoration he gave me during Christmas last year, and look at it for a while before turning off and falling asleep. Actually I have to look at it every night before going to bed. And even though we quarreled so badly the last few days, he was so nice to me today. Guys are supposed to have ego issues, but KL just treated me so understandingly nice even for my bad attitude. How can I not love him? How can I even be angry at him in the first place?
I also have very good female friends like Wanlin, Pan and Annie. The time when I felt so alone, Wanlin suddenly appeared and came to my home to ask for my advice. I felt really happy and relieved, as if I’m alive again. She didn’t know she was doing me a favour instead. But I don’t really quarrel with my gal friends. Maybe James is right. Friends whom you quarrel with and made things up, you’d become better friends with them. Perhaps that’s why MJ and KL are so dear to me. We really went through ups and downs, quarrels and nice times. I really don’t want MJ to go HongKong. If I can’t make that wish, then I wish that time will pass quickly when MJ goes to HongKong. But.. that’s not a good wish.
I wish that another person will come into my life as the form of MJ
It’s always what happens. Like… last time my Mr 911 was Richard, and now James appeared. And when I went to POV without KL, feeling so frightened, KL came in the form of Max. And Max is really so wonderful… I don’t mean people are replacements, but God do send angels to you in the form of different people. KL and MJ are my angels now, and they’ll always be...
I'm so tired I'm gonna conk out.
Next entry will be on the Holistic Fair and Night out with MJ searching for Private Maiko. Stay tuned for great happenings and interesting experiences!
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