Random Babblings

Blahx. My second post. Ha.. I really don't know what to write.
Recently I've been to this wonderful yet agonizing course called Psychology of Vision. Inside the seminar, we did nothing much, except to open our hearts, communicate with people and listen to people. It seems easy, yet so painful. I faced the things I feared most in the seminar, and my chest really hurt like crazy. Sighx.

It's interesting that after a month, I'm still in this weird emotional ups and downs. But... well.. as KL told me, we'll just wait for the next POV and continue with what we're supposed to do now. Life won't stop to wait for you just because you think you can't do it anymore. ^_^

I had a huge quarrel with KL a few days ago... Rather than saying a huge quarrel, I was being scolded by him. Blahx. And I acted like some victim like I've no other choice but to be upset, and I've no other choice but to listen to him. Why am I always trying to be the victim? It seems that all my life, I've been running away from responsibilities, and act as if I'm the victim. Every thing that went wrong in my life was not because of me. I can't help what's been happening. But truthfully, when I search deep in my heart, I wanted the sufferings. I wanted to be victimized. I want to prove that I'm the good guy, and everyone else is hurting me. I want to be the one being doted upon. Ha.. Isn't it.. pathetic? But.. I guess, it's not wrong in that way too. It's a way of survival. Phew. I feel much better after accepting myself.

Maybe just being myself isn't so bad after all. Kambatte!!! I Love myself. *Muackz*

Haha.. But anyway, I'm graduating soon. Just realized, I haven't fulfilled my internship yet!!!! Panic attack! Supposedly I'm to work for Jet to make TSM (Tertiary Success Model) Workshop website. But now, I'm not sure if the plans are still going on. In any case, it's good to find a backup. I want more money~! saw so many clothes recently, but no money to buy. Grr... Just wait! I'm finishing school lessons in jus 1 more week. Then I can start earning more more more money! hahahaha.. I'm crazy about money. Till next time!