Don’t think my wireless router will be ok for a long time. Tmr my laptop is going to the repairs too. Now I’m alone at home. Really quite bored but lazy to go out. Supposed to bring my grandparents to iris scan but really tired and wanna rest at home. Hee..
I’m not a philosopher, but I guess the books I’ve been reading lately made me think more philosophically. Ahem. But I’m not necessarily right la. Just some thoughts I have.
Some updates of my life since my last post, I’ve found a part time job to accommodate my timing for my tuition. Being a surveyor for Research Plus, a market research firm. I know a lot of people will think that it’s a rather brainless job and very tiring, which few people will wanna do. But I think the job’s rather interesting with good money. In the process, I really learnt quite a lot about courage to communicate with strangers, face rejections and keep going, goal oriented and self discipline. Haha.. coz there’s no one to look at you work. If you want to earn more, you’d have to work more. And sometimes, it’s really tough. Working on it made me reflect on a lot of things everytime.
I remember Henry and Jet always saying, if you’ve many cases everyday, you wouldn’t be upset upon rejections. And I realize it’s very true. First day I was at work, it’s really difficult. I felt so weird and embarrassed to approach people to do the survey. But coz of the book “Who moved my Cheese” I re-read recently, I plucked up my courage and started off with my work. To tell the truth, I was so nervous for the first half of the day that I kept msging Melvin and stalling for time. I start work at 10am in Temasek Poly, but I reached at 9.15am, dallied until 10.30am before I started. So nervous!!! And my dad works there. Whenever he pass by, I’ll try to find chance to waste my time to talk to him, and nearly went with him to lunch at 11am when I only just started work. Hehe… talk about evading. But I realize, after interviewing a number of people, I start to cool myself down, and even stop babbling when I’m interviewing them. A few days into the job, I even start enjoying myself in interviewing people. Well, of course there’s that weird cycle of human beings when we start to do something.
First, we get fearful because we’re afraid of rejection (or failure) and we’re not familiar with the job and we fail many times before we succeed while we try to overcome the job.
Then, we get used to the job (just like running in the maze), and start to enjoy it.
And then, we start to get arrogant and don’t prepare ourselves as much for the job and find it a drag and routine to go to work everyday. We go to work late, and finish work early.
And eventually, we either persuade ourselves this job is not for us, or that life’s not a choice. We have to work in order to get the income and this is the only job we can do(because we’re already used to it). And we live our lives miserably with the job.
But if we are able to get out of this, and look at our job in another perspective, it’s actually not a routine and not at all dreadful. I remember Guoyao once told me and other Assistant Coaches from B team, we live for one word, “Honour”. Whatever we do, it’s for honour. When I was without a part time job, everyday was very boring. There’s nothing to look forward to and I sleep till late in the mornings. I asked myself, why was it that when I’m so busy now, yet I’m so much more happier. And I realize, job itself is an honour. Perhaps we don’t realize, but our jobs may mean much more to us than just an income. Whatever careers we hold, or jobs we have, it is something for us to look forward to, and everyday it helps us improve ourselves, be it being a housewife, or a businessman. When we just step out of the vicious cycle of finding our job a chore, we’d find the pleasures in it that everyday we’re facing new things and new challenges. It may just be a new irritating colleague, or 0 sales that we have after being busy for a whole day. It’s the ups and downs in life which makes life worth living, and more fulfilling. It’s the willingness to overcome our ‘downs’ and move on to reach for the ‘ups’ that made us live with honour, and self satisfaction. If everything was smooth sailing with no challenges, we wouldn’t taste that sense of satisfaction when we overcome challenges. And it’s with that, that we truly live our lives and our dreams.
In the past, I always thought, we should just strive for our dreams, why keep ourselves in lowly jobs. I wanted the fast way out, and evaded facing the difficult. I don’t mean that now I don’t. Now, I know I still do, but I’m slowly wriggling my way to face the difficult, and at times hide behind Melvin or other close ones to avoid the tough times. And it’s this that makes us human, and it’s the overcoming of this fear that made us filled with the sense of achievement. There’s no shame in evading nor feeling tired of one’s job, or wanting to achieve one’s dreams. It’s everything, the good and bad that makes life worth living. Dreams are meant to be reached one step at a time, and really reaching for it, not just dreaming about it. I believe everyone is happiest when they are pursuing what they want, no matter how small or how big their dreams are.
With all this said, am I philosophical enough? Keke… Anyway, I haven’t been much to WBG lately. Blahx. It’s really not so easy to restart again when I’m really so tempted to do many things and it’s scary to go back doing WBG after resting for such a long long time. **Evading** Keke… But well, let’s just take the first step by going for my iris analyst session later. Awww… I’m so tired and lazy to go…
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