Talking about everything under the stars

Being Upset

I had a quarrel with KL last night. It was really nothing much. But don’t know why, I felt so upset about it. I guess it’s because I feel that I’m forced to make a choice between WBG and Melvin. There is never a choice between them both. It’s like, I ask you to choose, you want your mother or you want your father? I feel like a child being forced to take sides. I was really upset, and called Stef up to talk to her and get her advice. The last time, I happened to talk to her coz of IA (Iris Analyst) shift, and she gave me very good advise which made me handle things better. This time, I called her again.

What she said made me understand better why I was upset. There is a POV going on from thurs till sun, and she had gone to it. Just nice, I called her yesterday after her POV. She told me, it’s a real coincidence you ask me about this today. In POV, a person in the spotlight actually had such a situation. The person didn’t know how to choose between two things. It turns out that it’s because during childhood, the person was forced to choose between father or mother. For those who’ve been to POV will understand this, but if not, just look at the situation simply. I felt upset coz I felt that I’m forced to choose and take sides. The subconscious in me reminded me of the feeling of the past when I felt repressed because I’ve to choose between mum or dad, or similar issues.

I don’t know why I typed all these down. Perhaps I just want KL to understand that being with Melvin doesn’t mean I have to take sides, both are doable. I want both my mum and my dad. Haha… I love Melvin, and I love WBG, and KL will forever be my best friend. Ok? ^_^

Oh ya.. I did 3 cards last night coz was too upset so asked it for help. Funny thing is, I only remember my problem is death temptation (again), and can’t remember the other two. Shucks! Why am I always getting death temptation? Duh...

Being Happy

On another note, I’m really very happy recently. Haha… Feel like I’m the luckiest gal on earth! Ok. I always believe I’m the luckiest gal on earth, but now I really am! Ok. Coz I believe in it can? Hehe… I have like so many issues, my fears of intimacy, my haunting memories of the past, but Melvin can just accept it and love me even more for those. He even helps me overcome my fears and phobia... And he’s so sweet….. I really love the stars, and he’s been bringing me to Sentosa, VivoCity, and even at my aunt’s place he can show me the stars. If there’s a theme or mascot to our love, that is… the stars. Hahaha… No matter where we are, he seem to be able to make the place look even more beautiful and romantic just with his presence, even my room with my glow in the dark stars. Ok. Enough of my tee up for him.

Anyway, I went out with him yesterday to meet his friends after my iris analyst session. Phew. So nervous. I’ve not met his friends before. All the time it was only me and my friends, and me and my family. Haha… Everything was about me. Blahx. All of a sudden, gotta meet people around him. But they’re really nice people. From 18 – 30+, a wide age range. And the funny thing was, the first thing that I can strike a conversation is about WBG. Muahahaha.. 不愧是WBG的人!

我生是WBG的人,死是WBG的鬼!

Haha… No choice lar… Nervous mah. But who knows, my business may just grow accidentally from dating right? Haha…

Melvin’s really done so so so much for me. Later we’re going to visit my grandma too, coz she just had an operation. He made my family so happy, and wanlin likes him too. And he has a spy with him in WBG (whom I'll pretend I don't know who. Hee...). So… I’ll work hard to do more for him too. He’s adding so much value into my People Bank that I feel I need to do something. We’re going to POV together in august, and he’s going SCS in June. Really hope he’ll find his dreams and passion in life. ^_^

And... Yesterday I surprised everyone with MJ!!! hehe... he came back from HongKong for his grandma's funeral on wednesday, and no one knows but me. It was a real success, coz everyone was so shocked and happy to see him. Don't know if MJ knows it or not. He just has the effect to calm everyone down and make everyone's day. Everyone had been quite sulky yesterday coz we were scolded by Jet. But upon seeing him, things just went well. But coz of my quarrel with KL, I was the only one who was upset. Haha.. He came back to look for me in my IA room after everyone left. So lose face. Cried in front of him for a long time. I'm supposed to be IA lehz.. Heng yesterday only got 2 clients, and it's at 8.20pm so no one saw other than him. Sigh. Really can't bear to have him leave again today. No more MJ again... Sulks. And he says he might only come back end of the year. Duh... Doesn't that mean I have to teach your kid till he finish PSLE? You 好意思ah?? Blahx. Haha.. Ok larz.. Your kid is nice to teach so nvm lorz... Just come back as and when you deem fit. You're always welcomed and missed. ^_^

The Secret

There’s something which is very very very very...... can’t find a word to describe it. Have you watch “The Secret” and “Death Note”? If not, you have to. Half a year ago, I had written in a book about all my personal stuff. I wrote down 68 criteria I look for in my ideal life partner, goals in life, and other things. One by one, they’re starting to come true without myself realizing. It was only when Melvin asked to see that book (he won me in scissors, paper, stones so I have to let him read. Duh!), that I realize they’re happening. The 68 criteria I look for almost match Melvin perfectly, and the most ‘scary’ thing is that I forgot to write some criteria which I wanted. And…. He happened to not have those criteria. *shivers* One example, I can’t take people who smokes, but he does when I first know him. And I forgot to write that down in the book! Haha.. But he has quitted smoking ever since I said I don’t like people to smoke la. He’s sweet. ^_^

I also wrote, I must get a boyfriend in 2007, and go on Superstar Virgo with my loved one in 2007. Guess what? I got a boyfriend. And yesterday, his friends say wanna go on Superstar Virgo in June. *shivers* I hope all the other things I write will come true too. Haha…

I hope my million dollars will come very soon. *Prays hard*
I want a golden tortoise (金龟婿) *Prays very hard*

Melvin will kill me when he sees this. Haha… I’m praying you’ll become golden tortoise can?? =Pp

Go watch “The Secret” and “Death Note”. If you need, buy “The Secret” online, if not, I’ll help you get bah. Ask me can liaoz. ^_^

Next week onwards, I’m gonna go into WBG biz again. Finally finished busying with my tuition. Next mon will be my last lesson for my tuition gal, then all I’m left with is one P6 boy, whom I will pass back to MJ when he’s back. Kinda nervous to go into it full force again, but at the same time, excited. Haha.. Next week my FYP will be handed in too. Wish me luck!! Wonderful Future, here I come!!! ^_^